Whose Line Is It, Anyway?: NRT Style
by The Violent Tomboy
Summary: It's your favorite Naruto characters in the classic show where the points don't matter! What insanity will insue watching them act out skits from the top of their heads? Rated for potty mouths.
1. Let's Make A Date

I really wanted to post this up, and I'm afraid I'm losing some interest in my crossover story. But this should be pretty funny!

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"It's time for _Who's Line is it Anyway?_!" an announcer, well, announced. On the four chairs on the stage, Team 7 was sitting there, all looking a bit confused.

"The number one ramen obsessed ninja, Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto just grinned at the comment and rubbed the back of his head.

"I need a psychologist, Haruno Sakura!" Sakura looked a bit vivid hearing that, and Inner Sakura was yelling out, _"I don't need a damn psychologist! I'm not insane! It's not like I have a multiple personality or something!"_

"I've got a ten foot pole shoved up my ass, Uchiha Sasuke!" Sasuke just folded his arms and muttered something under his breath.

"And finally, poke my eye out Hatake Kakashi!" Kakashi just shrugged and took out his favorite book out of his pouch and began to read.

"And I'm the hostess, The Violent Tomboy!" the Korean, tall, fourteen year old, glasses-and-blue-sweater-and-jeans-wearing authoress yelled out before coming out of the audience of various anime characters and sitting at the desk. "Welcome to _Whose Line is it Anyway,_ the show or fanfiction where the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like brains to most male anime characters."

Obviously, there was an amount of voices protesting against that remark, but their owners were immediately smacked by their canon girlfriends.

"Alright, if any of you readers have no idea how this works, it's pretty simple. These guys on stage have to act out some skits and stuff like that, but they have to think of everything right off their heads and I'm going to give them points. At the end of the story, I'll randomly pick a winner who doesn't have to participate in the final game," The Violent Tomboy explained.

"Hey, that's not what Drew Carey says!" Sagara Sanosuke (from Rurouni Kenshin) yelled out from the audience.

"Well, I'm not Drew Carey! I'm not THAT fat!" the authoress shot back. In a calmer voice, she said, "Okay, the first game is-"

"What makes you think we're even going to do this?" Kakashi interrupted, looking up from his book.

"Yeah, why us?" Sakura added.

"Well, I was planning to make this kinda a sequel for my _Know Your Stars: YYH Style_ and use Yusuke and the gang, but I remembered how many stories there were like that. So I decided to use you guys! And if none of you cooperate, I'll send you home-"

"Okay! I won't cooperate!" Naruto declared.

"-handcuffed to a Mary Sue," the hostess finished. Team 7 all dropped their jaws.

"You wouldn't dare," Sasuke growled.

"We'll be overly exposed to Sue radiation and act incredibly OOC!" Sakura cried out. The hostess grinned. Team 7 knew they lost. They all sighed in defeat.

"Okay, the first game is Let's Make a Date!" Four stools appeared in front. Sakura sat on the first one and the boys went to the other ones, picking up their envelopes.

"Sakura's on a dating type show, and she has to pick a bachelor. But, each of the guys has been given a weird identity they have to act out, and later Sakura has to figure out who they are," the authoress said.

Naruto screamed in fury when he read his identity. "THERE IS _NO WAY IN HELL_ I AM GOING TO DO THIS, YOU HEAR ME!"

"Mary Sue," The Violent Tomboy reminded him. Naruto fumed as he took his seat.

"Alright, Bachelor #1," Sakura started. "I love to study and read. What kind of things are you interested in?"

"Well, for one thing, absolute power," Naruto answered her (AKA Bachelor #1, Orochimaru). "I am immortal, but I seek awesome abilities so my enemies shall crumble before me." For added effect, Naruto stuck out his tongue in a snake-like fashion.

"Uh, okay…" Sakura was kind of creeped. "What about you, Bachelor #2?"

"I don't really have any hobbies," Sasuke said (AKA Bachelor #2, a Jack-O-Lantern). He was sitting on the floor, with his head propped up on the stool. "My head's empty, except for one night it's always shining, but I still don't feel that smart."

"But I think you're beautiful," Naruto said seductively, stroking Sasuke's cheek.

"Alright, and number 3?" Sakura said.

"Well, like, oh my god, I really don't know why I'm on this show, but, like, I'm on a hunt!" Kakashi said in a shrill voice (AKA Bachelor #3, a crazed fan girl with a thing for blonde boys). "Oh, there's one now!" Kakashi leapt up and hugged Naruto. Naruto quickly pushed him off.

"I'm only interested in one person right now, and it's not you," Naruto said. He stared at Sasuke and did the snake tongue. "Although _he _is."

"But, but…" Kakashi stammered, then he just ran into the audience. He grabbed Edward Elric (from Fullmetal Alchemist) and hugged him as well.

"Oh Eddy! You're soooooooo cute!" Kakashi squealed.

"Get off me!" Ed roared as he pushed the jounin off him.

"But…" Kakashi then just ran over to Vash the Stampede and snuggled next to him. "Marry me!" Kakashi yelled out.

"Uh…" Vash said nervously.

"I have doughnuts!" Kakashi sang out. Before Vash could say "Hell ya!" Meryl shot Kakashi with one of her guns and threw him back on stage. Kakashi moaned in pain on the floor.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" his three students cried out.

The skit was put momentarily on hold as Kakashi had a near-fatal bullet wound near his heart.

"HOLY SHIT!" the authoress screamed out. "Damn you people, he's ACTING! Who's got healing abilities here, oh yeah, FUU!"

"What do you want me to do!" Fuu (from Samurai Champloo) said indignantly, standing up from the audience.

"Not you Fuu! The Fuu from Magic Knight Rayearth!" The Violent Tomboy screamed. When all she got was blank looks, she screamed again, "MAHO KISHI RAYEARTH! WHATEVER!"

"Oh!" the right Fuu came down, went over to Kakashi, and chanted, "Healing Winds!" Sparkling green winds surrounded him and what do you know, he got better. She went back to her seat.

"Now can we PLEASE get on with the skit!" the authoress sighed.

"Um, alright," Sakura said nervously. "Uh, Bachelor #1, what would you do for our first date?"

"Well, truthfully, I wish you were an all powerful male with a beautiful body. That way, I can make out with you before taking over your body as my own," Naruto stated.

Sakura just looked disgusted before asking Sasuke the same question.

"You don't want to be seen with me," Sasuke stated, his head still on the seat of the stool. "I'm really not that popular after Halloween, and soon I'm going to start to smell bad. But, you can just watch me when I glow for a couple hours and eat my baked insides."

Sakura looked disgusted again and barely said the question to #3.

"Well, I say we kidnap some real hotties and start making out with them!" Kakashi said cheerfully.

The Violent Tomboy hit the buzzer. "Alright Sakura, who are they?"

"Hm, Naruto was easy, he's Orochimaru-" (the audience clapped and Naruto raised his hands in the air and shouted, "YES! I DON'T HAVE TO BE THAT FREAKY SENNIN ANYMORE!) "-I think Sasuke-kun is a Jack-o-Lantern-" (more clapping and Sasuke sat properly now) "-and Kakashi-sensei, well, he's a gay fanatic over idiots."

Kakashi fell over.

"Actually, he's a crazed fan girl obsessed with blonde boys, but good guess" the authoress corrected her.

"I AM NOT AN IDIOT!" Naruto yelled, raising his fists in the air.

"Alright, that's over, and see you all later!" The Violent Tomboy said.


	2. Duet

"Welcome back to my story, and thanks for the awesome reviews. This is the first time I got so many reviews for the first chapter," The Violent Tomboy said at the desk. "For the last game, Naruto gets a hundred points for doing such a good impression and Kakashi gets a million 'cause I feel sorry for him."

Kakashi waved his hand to show that he was alright.

"That's not fair!" Naruto cried out.

"Naruto, who cares? The points don't matter, dobe," Sasuke said.

"SHUT UP TEME!"

"The next game is Duet, and this is for Naruto and Sasuke," The Violent Tomboy went into the audience and decided to pick Son Goku (I pity you if you have no idea where he's from) to be part of the game. Another stool appeared in between Kakashi and Naruto. Son Goku sat on it.

"Okay, Son Goku, tell us about- actually forget it. We all know about your life," the hostess said. The saiyinjin grinned. "Now Naruto and Sasuke have to sing a song about you, and they also have to sing it in a rap. Ishida Yamato from Digimon 02 will be playing the electric guitar for music (he gave a small wave before getting ready to play). Don't comment 'cause I can't think of anyone else who plays an instrument besides the classical ones. And just to make it better for the rap, I'll give you microphones." She tossed two microphones at them; Sasuke easily caught his but the other one somehow hit Yamato in the head. He glared at her before tossing the microphone to Naruto.

"Whoops! I'm really sorry about that!" the hostess said. "Aim sucks, now sing!"

Yamato played his guitar in the appropriate tune and Naruto put the microphone near his mouth and did that _p-p-ch-ch _sound into his microphone while Sasuke did that hand sign white boys usually do for rapping with one hand while the other held the microphone near his mouth.

"_Here's a story that's just funky_

_About some freaky alien monkey_

_He came to Earth _

_Had to have everyone die_

_But he became a stupid good guy_

_Wanted to be the best_

_Decided to take up a quest_

_Magic balls, had to find_

_And not the ones near your be-hind_

_He bashed up_

_He slashed up_

_He crashed up_

_All the bad guys_

_And saved the Earth too many times_

_When the peace gets up longer_

_Some dumb villain that shows up stronger_

_The baddy kills him_

_But he comes back to life_

_All he does is worry his wife_

_Oh yeah!"_

Naruto continued making the sounds into the microphone while Sasuke folded his arms in the oh-so-cool-way wannabe white rappers do. Son Goku was just grinning like the doofus he was.

The Violent Tomboy hit the buzzer. Applause rang out. Son Goku went back to his seat "That was great! Another hundred points for Naruto but Sasuke only gets fifty for acting like a fob."

"HA HA! Sasuke is a fob!" Naruto laughed and pointed at him. Sasuke growled at him before asking, "Dobe, do you even know what a fob is?"

Silence.

Then…

More silence.

"Uh…" was Naruto's smart reply.

"A fob is someone who comes from an Asian country and tries too hard to be white and sucks at it," the hostess shouted at him.

"Oh…HA HA! SASUKE IS A FOB!"

Sakura leaped to her feet and strangled Naruto for harassing her Sasuke-kun. "SASUKE-KUN IS NOT A FOB!" she screeched.

"Uh…see you all later?" The Violent Tomboy said as everyone continued to watch Naruto die at the hands of a rabid fan girl.


	3. Scenes From A Hat

"Welcome back everyone! Everyone's ready for another round of _Whose Line is It Anyway_!" The Violent Tomboy announced.

Naruto glared at her with both his black eyes. Sakura beat him up pretty good.

"Well, almost everyone. Now time for one of my favorites, Scenes from a Hat!"

A lot of clapping as Naruto and Sasuke went on one side and Sakura and Kakashi went to the other. The hostess took out a large hat. "There's a bunch of pieces of paper in here and when I pick one out, they have to do whatever is written on it," the hostess said. "First one is, What Orochimaru does in his free time."

Kakashi came up. He masturbated.

There was a lot of hooting and laughing while The Violent Tomboy frantically hit the buzzer. "God I didn't need to see that."

Naruto came up and now and pretended to be drawing something. "I have to finish up that picture of myself for Hm, no, Sasuke's face doesn't look right, he looks like he's not enjoying it…"

_Buzz!_

Naruto went back with the audience laughing except for Sasuke, who looked ready to kill him.

"What American superheroes are really thinking," the hostess read another one.

Sakura came and looked down at herself. "Why _do _we wear or underwear on the outside?"

_Buzz!_

Sasuke came out and said, "Damn Lois. Can't you go for one friggin' day without getting kidnapped? I mean I save you, I turn around, then I look at you again to see that Lex Luther wants to use you to kill me."

_Buzz!_

Naruto came and said, "I have a wedgie."

_Buzz!_

"What you shouldn't ask your parents for help with."

Kakashi came out and said, "Mom, can you teach me hands-on experience on how to have sex?"

By now the authoress was laughing so hard that she barely had the strength to hit he buzzer and reach into the hat again.

"Songs Sasuke would never sing but we'd all love to hear him singing it anyway for shits and grins."

Kakashi came and sang, "Turn me on, turn me on!"

_Buzz!_

Sakura sang, "Near, far, wherever you are, I believe that the heart does go on."

_Buzz!_

Naruto sang, "Joy to the world! The teacher's dead! I barbecued his head!"

_Buzz! _Naruto kept singing anyway. "What happened to the body? I flushed it down (_buzz!_) potty! Round and round it goes! The (_buzz!_) toilet overflows! Joy to the world! the teacher's dead!"

Naruto finally got off.

"Damn, this is what I get for teaching people those songs," The Violent Tomboy muttered as she reached for another one. "Gifts you should never give to your ex-girl/boyfriend trying to get them back."

Naruto came out and said, "Look! Here's your current boyfriend's corpse! Now that you're single, you want to go out with me again?"

_Buzz!_

"People that you'd want to shoot."

Sakura came out and said, "Hi! I'm the president of the dubbing company!"

_Buzz!_

Naruto came out and sang, "I love you, you love me! Let's be a happy family!"

"Oh god I hate him!" the authoress yelled as she hit the buzzer.

Sasuke came out and said, "My fellow Americans, I know I've lied, didn't act fast enough to save hundreds of lives, and an all-round crappy president, but I am trying to do a better job."

_Buzz!_

Kakashi came out and said, "Welcome to _Whose Line is it Anyway,_ the show or fanfiction where the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like brains to most male anime characters."

The Violent Tomboy came up and kicked him in the shins.

She reached into the hat and read, "Why Christians tend to scare people."

Sakura and Kakashi came up together.

"BELIEVE IN GOD!" Sakura yelled at Kakashi in the face.

"Excuse me…"

"BELIEVE IN GOD OR SUFFER ETERANL DAMNATION IN HELL!"

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"That's enough for now, come back later for the final game for Team 7!" The Violent Tomboy yelled out.


	4. Hoedown

"Hi everybody! Welcome back! Sorry about Orochimaru-bashing, but I just don't like him. Also, I'm Christian myself, I don't try at all to convert people, it's just that once this jerk kept on talking to me on how I should go Christian while I was trying to eat my cheeseburger. He wouldn't lay off no matter how many times I told him I already was and he pretty much ruined my lunch. So that's my story for the last one, and now I'll shut up so that you all can hear the hoe-down. Kakashi won so he doesn't have to do it," The Violent Tomboy said very fast on stage with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. Kakashi was at the desk catching up on his reading.

The hostess yelled at the audience. "Who's somebody you guys are REALLY sick of?"

"My mother!" "Hilary Duff!" "Power Rangers!" "People trying to take over the world!" "Fan girls!" "Idiots!" "People with no respect for grammar! "Dubbers!"

"Dubs! That's a good one! Now take it away Yamato!" the hostess said.

Yamato played the hoe-down song while the audience clapped along. Naruto was first.

"_The dubbing for my show_

_Could've been worse_

_The thing really wrong with it_

_Is that I can't even curse!_

_I can't call people bastards_

_I can only call you jerks_

_And what's up with 'believe it'?_

_That line just never works!"_

Lots of laughing as Naruto began to dance along. The Violent Tomboy was next.

"_I really hate dubbers_

_See the shows they screw._

_They messed up Shaman King_

_And Tokyo Mew Mew!_

_Just look at One Piece_

_Just look at what they did_

_So I have an idea,_

_Let's destroy 4Kids!"_

People got a little more riled up with that one. Now Sasuke had to sing.

"_The dubbed version of myself_

_Isn't all that bad._

_I just sound like I'm thirty_

_Isn't that just sad?_

_But I'm glad 'bout one thing_

_Something I won't miss_

_None of you people_

_Saw me and Naruto kiss!"_

Laughter and The Violent Tomboy yelled, "BUT I WANTED TO SEE YOU GUYS KISS! THAT'S SO FUNNY!" Sasuke glared at her again as Sakura stepped up.

"_The dubbing that I pity_

_Would be Yu-gi-oh!_

_How much can you screw up_

_On one single show?_

_Joey doesn't cuss_

_Tristan ain't no fun_

_And if Tea goes 'friendshippy'_

_Please shoot her with a gun!"_

"_PLEASE SHOOT HER WITH A GUN!" _the other three repeated.

"That's all for this round of _Whose Line is It Anyway_, and see you guys later with me and a fresh new set of victims!" The Violent Tomboy yelled out.


	5. commercials

Ed and Al Elric were traveling through the hot desert, the sun mercilessly beating down on their backs. Well, Ed's anyway.

"So…damn…hot…" Ed complained.

All of a sudden, four skimpily clad women burst out of the desert sands. The first wore red, the next orange, the one after that wore yellow, and the last one in purple. Each was carrying a bottle of soda.

"Wanta Fanta, don't you wanta Fanta?" the women were singing out as the first two were latching their arms around Ed and forcibly pouring soda into his mouth while the other two were waving their asses into Al's armor and pouring their soda into his hollow body. Ed was looking uncomfortable while Al was blushing as much as a suit of armor could blush.

"_Hey you guys_

_You're looking sporty_

_Drink some Fanta _

_Faster shorty!"_

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING MICROSCOPIC!" Ed roared as he broke free and clapped his hands. Placing them on the ground, a giant hand of sand came out and threw the women far, far away.

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Wanta Fanta?

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"Hey Nabiki, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?" Tendo Akane asked her sister holding up a cherry flavored Tootsie Pop.

"Fork over a thousand yen and I'll tell you," Nabiki answered her.

"Never mind," Akane sweat dropped.

She went to her fiancé, Saotome Ranma, and asked, "Hey Ranma, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of Tootsie Pop?"

"Let's find out," Ranma said as he took the lollipop. He unwrapped it and started to lick it. "One, two, three-"

"RANMA DARLING!" Kuno Kodachi jumped out and glomped him.

"HENTEI!" Akane screamed as she grabbed her mallet and whacked him hard somehow without hurting Kodachi. Ranma fell into a small lake and came out as a girl.

"HEY!" she yelled back.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.

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Fanfiction authors with no respect for grammar: Plenty of them

Fanfiction authors who make up Mary Sues: Even more of them

Fanfiction authors who use extremely overused plotlines: Too many to count

Fanfiction authors who realize they suck as fanfiction authors: Priceless

There's some people in life who have no talent in creative writing. For everything else, there's constructive criticism, but mostly flames.

Accepted by hard to please reviewers worldwide.

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"Are you constantly picked on? Do you want to tower over those bullies? Well then come on over to the Anime Weaponry Shop!"

A huge store is shown, and inside are giant swords, bazookas, magical staffs, a teddy bear suit…

"That's right! Every single kind of weaponry available, stolen- I mean _donated _from anime characters all over! Anything for any occasion. From things that'll just knock you out unconscious (a Pikachu in handcuffs is shown) to things that can totally annihilate Texas! (A Gundam is shown)"

"And everything's under a hundred dollars! So hurry up before the rabid anime characters come to get their stuff back-I mean before they're sold out! Come now!"


	6. Weird Newscasters

Team 10 was now on stage, ready for their turn for fun and laughter.

For us, anyway.

"Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway!"

"Put a smile on, Nara Shikamaru!" He crossed his arms and looked bored as always.

"I'm going to fry your brain, Yamanaka Ino!" Ino just looked into the audience and cried out, waving her hand, "OOOOH SASUKE-KUN!"

"Get away from him you pig!" Sakura yelled back, pointing at her, who was sitting next to our favorite soon-to-be traitor.

"BIG FOREHEAD GIRL!"

"PIG! PIG! PIG!"

Two pieces of duct tape magically appeared on their mouths. They succeeded in pulling them off, but not without a cry of pain and a good piece of their skin.

"Denial is good for the soul, Akimichi Choji!" Choji reached into his endless bag of potato chips.

"And finally, I'm not important, Satutomi Asuma!" The Team 10 instructor looked thoroughly offended as he nearly sputtered over his cigar..

"And I'm the hostess, The Violent Tomboy!" the authoress came down from the audience and to the desk. For some reason, some kind of translucent blue dome was surrounding her.

"Welcome to _Whose Line is It, Anyways, _the show where the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like the fact I'm completely sold out at the Anime Weaponry Store!" she said cheerfully.

"**_WHAT!"_** the audience screamed out.

"GIVE ME BACK MY TETSUSAIGA!"

"HOW CAN I DO MAGIC WITHOUT MY STAFF AND CARDS!"

"WHO BOUGHT MY DEATHSCYTHE!"

"I'M NOTHING WITHOUT MY HIDDEN WEAPONS!"

And the complaints go on.

"That's okay. I made a load of cash off of your weapons!" the hostess grinned.

"_**KILL HER!"**_

Everybody (and for some reason including the people who never had weapons to begin with) in the room jumped at her at once.

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PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

PLEASE STANDBY

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Everyone was back in their seats, their hair all looking like they had been shocked by some SERIOUS voltage.

"Ah, the wonders of shock therapy," the hostess said, the blue shield still surrounding her. "Man I love Yuko…all I had to do was give her a whole lot of booze and a new drinking partner and she gave me this really nice electrifying shield…"

(Somewhere in a small room…)

"Is that all you got?" Ichihara Yuko, the infamous, seductively beautiful Space-Time Witch from xxxHolic, her face reddening as she gulped down another bottle of alcohol.

"Nobody ever beat me in drinking, and it's going to stay that way," Chu (from Yu Yu Hakusho) declared as he opened another bottle.

"Same here," the crazed woman said as she grabbed another crate from a set of a million.

"Go Yuko go!" the black thing that looked like a cross between a rabbit and a pork bun cheered. Mokona then stole Chu's bottle and quickly drank it.

"YOU FRIGGIN' BUN!" Chu screamed, too drunk to realize there was still plenty left…

Okay, back at the studio.

"Alright, the first game is Weird Newscasters for all of you guys!" Shikamaru and Ino sat on two stools while Choji stood at one side and Asuma at the other..

"Okay, these guys have to act out as newscasters, but they all have a weird identity or quirk. Shikamaru, you're the anchor. Ino, you're the co-anchor and you're a Mary Sue. Choji is the sports guy and you're a crying three year old mourning the death of Fangs, his imaginary pet goldfish. And finally, Asuma is doing the weather, and he's every South Park character. Shikamaru, start when the annoying music plays."

Everybody was done giggling or gagging at the identities, and the _dun-dun-dun-doo-doo-doo _music played.

"Hello, welcome to the six o-clock news," Shikamaru stated. "I'm your anchorman, I.M. Bored. Our top story tonight, anime characters are conspiring and joining forces, planning the death of a fourteen year old Korean girl that will momentarily remain unnamed."

Lots of laughter, but the hostess was glaring at him unpleasantly.

"Now to my anchorwoman, Marilyn Susana."

"Well," Ino said perkily as she let her hair down and swished it seductively. "My entire clan has been killed and I'm the last one left. I have the power of copying any move I see, making destructive energy blasts, seeing through alls, reading minds, have control over all that is elemental, talking to animals, and a whole lot more, so I need to hook up with some sexy guy so my clan won't die out!" She latched on to Shikamaru's arm and said, "So how about it?"

He pushed her off and said, "Now it's time for sports with Dan I. Al."

"Werr.." Choji said in a babyish voice as he seemed to be holding something in his hands. "Tha foo'ba game was weely good last night, but, but…" his lower lip quivered as he held up an imaginary fish bowl. "Fang go away! Fang got eaten by inbisible kitty! Mommy said she no care, she say Fang was stupid, but Fang was my bes' fwiend! WAH!"

"Alright…Shikamaru said slowly. "Now it's the weather with B.A. Fag."

Asuma finally took out the cigarette. He started off with the Cartman style voice. "It's sunny with clouds, but who the hell cares! I lost all my money, dammit! Dammit! (mow in Kyle style.) Shut up fat ass! That was _our _money! (Kenny.) Mmm-mm-ph! MM-ph-ph! MM!" (Kyle again.) Oh my god, you killed Kenny! (Stan) You bastard!"

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"Okay, a hundred points to everybody except Shikamaru, and you know, the South Park thing reminds me. Two weeks ago I wanted to go to the manga and fanfiction club, and when I went in, it turned out to be a _yaoi _manga an fanfiction club, and the president was reading an example of a horribly written yaoi Naruto fanfiction."

She took out a slider cell phone out of her pocket and played a video clip. A teenage boy was reading from a paper and was talking exactly like Cartman should. "Oh Naruto! Fuck me fuck me!" Naruto pulled down Sasuke's pants and-"

Everybody was laughing their asses off, except for Sasuke, Naruto, and the Sasuke fan club.

"DESTROY THAT THING!" Ino screamed.

"Hey, back off my cell phone! I can't lose it!" The Violent Tomboy yelled back.

"**_DESTROY THAT CELL PHONE!"_** the fan club roared as they all jumped at her.

Another dose of shock therapy.

"See you later!" the hostess yelled as she glanced at the bodies of the unconscious females.


	7. Irish Drinking Song

"Hiya! Welcome back!" The Violent Tomboy said, her shield still working. An uncomfortable amount of characters were right behind her, some angry unarmed people and Sasuke's fan club (minus Ino, she had to be on stage), cracking their knuckles impatiently, waiting for the shield to run out of juice.

"The next game is the Irish Drinking Song for all four of you guys again!" Team 10 came down.

"What's your favorite thing about fanfiction?" the hostess turned to the audience for ideas.

"Humor!" "Lemons!" " A well-written plot!" "Character-bashing!" "Yaoi!" "Stories where I get paired up with a sexy guy!" "Shut up you fag!"

"Okay, I'll just pick pairings. We're doing the pairing Irish Drinking Song! Play Yamato!" the hostess yelled.

"_**Oooooooh, hidey-didey-didey-didey-didey-didey-di!"**_

Shikamaru: _"The best part of a fiction,"_

Ino: "_Is when two make out!"_

Choji: _"Who doesn't like the romance?"_

Asuma: _"**NOBODY**! I did just shout."_

Shikamaru: "_Can you feel the love?"_

Ino: _"Love is like a cruise!"_

Choji: "_Have any two be together,"_

Asuma: "_But please no Mary Sues!"_

(Insert audience and hostess laughter despite the fact the hostess is still surrounded by people who want to kill her.)

"_**Oooooooh, hidey-didey-didey-didey-didey-didey-di!"**_

Ino: "_Why are some people popular,"_

Choji: _"With guys from other shows?"_

Asuma: _"It won't ever happen,"_

Shikamaru: _"I don't feel like rhyming," _

Ino: _"Just what makes Kagome good,"_

Choji: "_With almost every man?"_

Asuma: _"But I kind of like those stories," _(every stares at him for a few seconds)

Shikamaru: _"I still ain't gonna rhyme!"_

"_**Oooooooh, hidey-didey-didey-didey-didey-didey-di!"**_

Choji: _"There's something weird,"_

Asuma: _"On pairings that are gay!"_

Shikamaru: _"In the show they argue,"_

Ino: _"Like every other day!"_

Choji: _"One's always cool,"_

Asuma: "_While the other likes to whine!"_

Shikamaru: "_So maybe SasuNaru fits," _(Sasuke and Naruto stare at each other and gasp.)

Ino: _"HELL NO! SASUKE'S MINE!"_

"_**Oooooooh, hidey-didey-didey-didey-didey-didey-di!"**_

Asuma: "_Try making up new pairings,"_

Shikamaru: "_Canon can be a bore!"_

Ino: _"There's nothing really wrong with them,"_

Choji: "_But they can be a snore!"_

Asuma: _"New pairings are always interesting,"_

Shikamaru: "_But some are just sad!"_

Ino: _"Hermione and Dumbledore,"_

Choji: _"GROSS! NOW THAT'S BAD!"_

"_**OOOOOOOOOH, HIDEY-DIEDY-DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"**_

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"Man that was awesome! A million points to everyone! See ya, AND WOULD YOU ALL JUST BACK OFF! THIS THING DOESN'T RUN ON BATTERIES YOU KNOW, SO IT CAN'T GO DOWN!" The Violent Tomboy jumped up so nearly everyone surrounding her almost got shocked.


	8. Whose Line

"Hey everybody, nothing's changed since last time besides the fact I'm not surrounded by anyone but everyone in here still wants to kill me," The Violent Tomboy said really fast. The shield hummed in agreement.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru yawned. He didn't care so much. He and other shinobi could easily get more kunai and shurinken. "Just give everyone their weapons back already."

"Actually, I kinda did manage an agreement with some of my customers to return them, but uh…"

"WHAT!" everyone screamed out.

"I got a few weapon back, most of the girls' weapons, but since it was mostly fan girls that bought the stuff, their terms is that if the guys go over to their houses to snuggle with for a night and then they'll give them back."

"WHAT THE FUCK!" "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" "BUT I'M GAY!" "NO! HE'S MINE ALONE!" "GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!" "THEY ALREADY STOLE MY BOXERS!"

"Oh yeah…Hiei, if you want you Jagan back, the request included that Touya would come with you. This girl wants you both naked in her bed with her by sometime next week," The Violent Tomboy said as she looked at a list on her desk.

The two Yu Yu Hakusho characters weren't too sure how to take this.

Hiei was contemplating if it would be worth it; after all, it wasn't very appealing that he just had a big hole in his forehead. Then again, he'd never lower himself to a be a sex toy for a 'stupid human'. Touya had other problems.

"If you have forgotten, I've been permanently been turned into a girl because of your _Know Your Stars _story," she said as she crossed her arms over her ample chest.

"One, that was Koenma's fault, not mine. Two, sorry, but this girl's apparently a bi, so that's why she wanted you to come too," was the smart answer.

Touya quietly sobbed. Jin patted him in the back for comfort.

"What's wrong with these fan girls? Don't you all have better things to do than romance?" Kaiba Seto (Yu-Gi-Oh!) snorted.

"Hey, I'm not like that, I'm not even sure of my own sexuality! (everyone goes mute for a few seconds) Okay, now let's play Whose Line with Shikamaru and Choji!"

The pair came down.

"These two have to act out a scene, and in between whatever they're saying they have to pull out a piece of paper from their pockets and read off the quote."

"When did you put these into our pockets?" Choji said in slight shock as he noticed his pockets were indeed full.

"Oh, this whole place is that weird little world inside my head, so I basically have absolute power," the hostess replied.

"Then how come you can't give us back our weapons right now?" Fai D. Flowright (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles) asked cheerfully.

"I'll ignore that for now. The scene is that Sylvester the cat, played by Shikamaru, is trying to eat Tweety, played by Choij. Now start!"

"I daught I saw a putty tat!" Choji said. "I did! I did see a putty tat!"

"Say your prayers bird," Shikamaru spat out. "You're my lunch."

"Oooh, Mr. Putty Tat, you better be careful because-" Choji pulled out a piece of paper now and read, "My legal guardian gave me a big-ass bazooka for my birthday and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"Suffering succotash! Granny actually gives out weapons!" Shikamaru said in shock.

"That's right," Choji held up an imaginary bazooka. "So Mr. Putty Tat, do you still want to eat me?"

"You bet I do, my feathery little friend," Shikamaru said before pulling out a paper himself. It read, "I covered my chest with peanut butter!"

"Is it chunky peanut butter?" Choji asked.

"No, but I'll cover you up in it so you'll taste even better," Shikamaru answered.

"Mr. Putty Tat-" Choji pulled out another one. "I am your father."

"…" Shikamaru just pulled out a piece of paper. "Nobody oughta be alone on Christmas!"

"My son! I knew you cared about me!" Choji said as he embraced Shikamaru. The genius looked so awkward that moment that The Violent Tomboy took out her cell phone and took a picture of his face.

"Oh daddy!" Shikamaru shook it off and returned the hug. (O.O)

"Oh son, there's something I want to tell you," Choji said before he read off another one. "These boots were made for walking, that's just what they do."

"You don't wear boots," Shikamaru said. "And you're not my father, bird. Now I really am going to eat you before-" (starts reading) "-the pixies come to take over the world!"

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"A million points for each of you," the hostess said before checking out the list on her desk again. "Oh Sousuke, if you want the Bonta-kun battle suit, this girl says you have to be at her house at seven tonight. She also said not to wear anything but-ew, gross, what kind of sick people-I can't say this out loud."

She wrote the request on a separate piece of paper, crumpled it, and threw it to Sagara Sousuke

The star of Full Metal Panic looked very afraid when he read it. And it takes a lot to scare him.

"SOUSUKE, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WEAR A MAN-THONG!" Chidori Kaname screamed out.


	9. World's Worst

The Violent Tomboy was smiling as always inanely as always, standing between Ino and Asuma. Choji was at the desk, digging into his bag of potato chips.

"Welcome back, and if anyone's worried about our favorite guys getting raped, it's not going to happen. A reviewer named Yamimaru used a supernatural wind to return all the weapons back to the rightful owners. The fan girls, well…I drugged them all so they can't remember anything…and I get to keep their money…that rocks…ha ha suckers…and Sousuke didn't have to wear a man-thong."

Nearly everyone (the stupider ones anyway) was kissing their weapons. Sousuke looked up to the heavens and silently thanked god. (The war veteran should have thanked the reviewer.)

"Unfortunately, before the weapons were returned, Kittys-Go-Meow-And-I-Go-Shut-Up attempted to sue me, claiming that she owned Naruto and Whose Line Is It Anyway. There was also a huge lawsuit concerning the Tokijin, and, well, Sesshomaru and Arnold Schwartznegger ended up trying to kill each other. Arnold can't join us right now because one, he's in the hospital in critical condition, and two, if he shows up here somebody might report me for bringing a real celebrity into this fanfiction. That's how I got kicked off the site last time as nunofyorbiz. But don't worry, he'll be back. And Kittys-Go-Meow-And-I-Go-Shut-Up? Haku does NOT own the rights to Naruto."

"NOBODY OWNS ME!" Naruto screamed out from the audience.

"Masashi Kishimoto does, but for now, I get to do whatever with you."

"No you don't! Nobody owns me, believe it!" Naruto's eyes widened as he quickly clapped his hands over his mouth. He sounded just like a five year old with laryngitis. And he said those fated words that were more offensive than any cuss.

"HE'S BEEN DUBBED!" Oyamada Manta (the midget from Shaman King) cried out.

A gasp rang out throughout the audience.

Naruto slowly removed his hands from his mouth and said the first words that came to mind, "Sasuke-teme." He sighed in relief.

"Now will you admit your life is under control of other people? People that actually exist in real life?"

"Shut up."

"Okay, Choji won the game, so he gets the honor of sitting at the desk. Now we're going to play World's Worst, and Choji, what do we have to give examples of?" the hostess asked.

Choji stopped eating for a second to look at the card. "World's worst things to say to your date."

Shikamaru started. "You are so-o-o-o troublesome."

_Buzz!_

Asuma went next. "Would it offend you if I said you look just like my undead ex-girlfriend?"

_Buzz!_

Ino came up. "You know that new cologne I gave you? Well, I 'made' it myself, if you know what I mean."

_Buzz!_

Asuma came up again. "I'm so sorry, I'm cheating on you with your mother."

_Buzz!_

The Violent Tomboy sang, "_John Jacob Jingle Himer Smith! His name is my name too! Whenever I go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jingle Himer Smith. **NA NA NA NA NA NA NA!**"_

_Buzz!_

Shikamaru came and said, "I really like you, but we can't be together anymore. Hillary won't like it if I go cheating on her again. Besides, the whole country went nuts when I had that affair with Monica."

_Buzz!_

The Violent Tomboy said, "I'm more of a man than you'll ever be."

_Buzz!_

Ino said, "I don't know if this'll work out, technically I am a fictional character…"

_Buzz!_

Shikamaru went up and said, "Am I boring you? 'Cause you sure are boring me."

_Buzz!_

The Violent Tomboy said, "I'm not too sure if I'm straight, bi, or I just don't have sex hormones in general…"

_Buzz!_

Ino went and said, "I've been installed with an OOC chip, so that's the only reason I even agreed to come in the first place."

_Buzz!_

Asuma went and said, "Want to see a picture of my penis?"

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"That's it for Whose Line Is It Anyway, see you later when I bring in Team 8!" The Violent Tomboy yelled out.


	10. more commercials

**IMPORTANT**:Before anybody says anything, I am fully aware that these commercials are exactly the same ones from my _Know Your Stars: YYH Style. _However, I've been really busy since I have major tutoring going on (my vacation SUCKS!). So if you've never read my last story, enjoy! For all you who've already seen this, SORRY! I'M REALLY SORRY!

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Atemu was in a duel against Kaiba, and things weren't looking too good for him.

"HA HA HA!" Kaiba laughed as he over dramatically swiped his hand to the side. "Next turn, my Blue Eyes will destroy your Dark Magician, dropping your life points to zero!"

"Oh no," Atemu muttered, sweat sliding down his face.

"Don't worry!" Jounouchi yelled from the sidelines. "I have good news!"

"What is it Jounouchi?" Atemu cried out.

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!" Jounouchi answered him, waving his hand.

Atemu and Kaiba sweat dropped.

---------------------------------------------------

Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on your car insurance.

----------------------------------------------------

"Jounouchi, you don't _have _a car," Atemu said.

"…"

00000000000000000000000000000000000

A lone man standing, all skinny and puny looking.

"Hey there!" a voice rang out. "Do you want to become stronger?"

The man nodded.

"Do you want your deepest wishes to be granted?"

The man nodded again.

"Well, want you need are Shikon shards!" A close up view of several Shikon shards appeared.

"That's right Shikon shards! Pieces of the whole Shikon no Tama, and one piece can make you stronger by ten times! They can increase your speed…"

A picture of a running Kouga appeared.

"Increase your fire power…"

A picture of the Thunder Brother blasting things appeared this time.

"Even bring your deceased brother back from the dead without any memory of who he is!"

A picture of Kohaku now fighting with Sango with his weapons.

"And if you have the whole jewel, your wish will be granted!" A close up view of the entire jewel. "And one is just 29.99! Collect them all!"

-----------------------------------------------

Shikon shards. Call 1-800-NOT-REAL. Three easy payments of $29.99. Call in the next fifteen minutes and we'll double your order! We are not responsible if you end up skinned, killed, have your entire family slaughtered, or believe that the love of your life has betrayed you by evil youkai who want possession of these shards. Please allow 6-8 weeks of delivery. Must be 18 years or older to call.

00000000000000000000000000000000

_It was dark, and hard to see anything._

They're coming…

_Stomping was heard in the distance._

There's too many of them…

_The stomping was getting louder._

It's almost impossible to fight them back…

_Louder still…_

They're already here…

_A huge amount of people are approaching._

They're going to take over.

_Their faces are revealed, showing seeming perfect looking people._

And there's nothing we can do to stop it, except to try.

_They are coming closer, smiling evilly._

Mary Sues, they're taking over the world of fanfiction.

_Coming too close._

And they've already started, and it's too late to stop the worse…

00000000000000000000000000000000

A tall, fourteen year old Korean girl was sitting at a large desk. She was wearing glasses, had dark shoulder length hair, and brown eyes. She wore a white lab coat.

"Hello. My name is The Violent Tomboy, and I'm here to tell of a therapy that's working perfectly on it's patients, and that you should be aware of. People all over are experiencing ASS, or Anime Sickness Syndrome. Many have fallen victim to ASS, not thinking about their lives but instead daydreaming of two-dimensional pretty boys or watching anime for a too big of a portion of their lives. Some has taken special therapy called COCK, or Correcting Obsessive Crazy Kids. It has worked miraculously with everyone.

The scene now shows another girl with her name on the bottom of the screen, Ima Conformist. "I used to watch anime and read manga all the time and I didn't really do much else. But when I took COCK, it was great! Now I'm leading a perfectly normal life with more time to do other things!"

Back to The Violent Tomboy. "See, COCK really does work. Just call 1-800-NO-ANIME, and you'll be scheduled for an appointment. And if you really do call this number, all I have to say is GO SCREW YOURSELF! YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO GIVE UP ANIME!" She was starting to pound her fists on the table or raising them in the air angrily. "Whoever is running this COCK shit should really drown himself or something. NEVER GIVE UP THE GOOD STUFF IN LIFE! ANIME WILL LIVE ON!"

She started to laugh like a maniac high on crack. "MUHAHAHAHA!"

"Sorry about that," she said quietly. "I really have to stop that. But I do practice my evil laugh a lot. It's my first time doing it in public."


	11. Superheroes

Team 8 was now on stage, waiting to be humiliated in front of a large audience.

"Let's get buggy with it, Aburame Shino!" Shino actually moved for a second…oh wait, that was a trick in the light…

"Just tell Naruto how much you love him already, Hyuuga Hinata!" Hinata went so red in the face that it didn't look all that different from a giant tomato and steam poured out of her ears. At that very moment, Gluttony (from Fullmetal Alchemist) tried to eat Naruto, who was sitting in front of him. Naruto was too busy trying to avoid the giant mouth to hear what was said about Hinata.

Amazing.

"Who let the dogs out, Inuzaki Kiba!" Kiba had a huge grin as Akamaru yipped on his shoulder.

"Woof-woof woof-woof woof!" (_"I'm so much cooler than you! I get to be on stage!"_) Kiba barked up at Pikachu, who was on Satoshi's shoulder (Pokemon).

"Pikachu pi! Pi-pi! Pika pikachu pika pi!" _("Shut up you stupid dog! I'm cuter! And haven't paid me back the money you borrowed!")_

"Woof-woof!" _("Not paying!") _Akamaru gave him a doggy grin.

"PIKACHU PIKACHU!" _("THAT'S IT, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!")_

Pikachu then jumped off Satoshi's shoulder and great speed, went straight towards Akamaru and tackled him to the ground. Pikachu began to chase him around and around and trying to electrocute him…awe man, that attack nearly got the cameras, oh, wait, not-

0000000000000000000000000

Static, static, fuzz.

Go entertain yourself for thirty minutes while we take care of things. If you're still staring at this screen, you can learn The Violent Tomboy's inner and most secret-

GET OFF THE COMPUTER, INO! AND HOW DO YOU KNOW MY INNER THOUGHTS! I DON'T KEEP A DIARY!

Oh, I took over your mind while you were on your way back from the bathroom. And you can't make me get off the computer because I'm a powerful kunoichi and you never even took basic tae kwon do like your brother and sister.

My brother taught me how to do The Peacock! I'm warning you!

HA! Like you can hurt me with your fing-OUCH! Hell that hurt!

MUHAHAHAHA! Now get off!

TheViolentTomboymissesherfriendthathappenstobeaguywhomovedtoCaliforniaherbuttwasgreenwhenshewasfourandherrealnameis…

NOT THAT! GET OFF!

000000000000000000000000000000000000

Pikachu was unconscious in a sobbing Satoshi's arms. Who knew Kuno Kodachi's (Ranma ½) crazy powders would come in handy?

"We're finally up to you, Yuuhi Kurenai!" Kurenai just sighed. It took a little over two pages just to get up to her.

"And I'm the hostess, The Violent Tomboy!" she cried out as she came down from the audience (again). Her glasses were gone. She sat at the desk and said, "Welcome to _Whose Line Is It Anyway?_, the show where the points don't exist, just like any fascination you have on the account I finally got contacts! And I actually like my glasses better because my contacts keep popping out! My eyebrows look fuzzier now too! Not like Gai's though!"

"Oh Gai-sensei!" Lee broke out in tears and hugged him.

"Oh Lee!" He hugged him back.

"OH GAI-SENSEI!"

"OH LEE!"

"Oh shut up," Raven (from Teen Titans) said in a bored voice.

"Hey, you're not an anime character, what are you doing here?" Tenten asked her.

"One, my show shares many features of anime, and two, Beastboy wanted to come here and he just had to drag me and the others with him," she answered.

"This show rocks!" Beastboy said. The other three Titans nodded.

"Besides, the Avatar cast is here too, they're not technically anime, but they are by far the best anime imitation made by Americans," The Violent Tomboy called back. "AVATAR ROCKS!"

"Yup," Aang smiled as Momo the lemur jumped onto Katara's lap from his bald head.

"THE AVATAR!" Prince Zuko screamed out as he jumped from his seat a few rows behind Aang. He began to jab out short streams of flame at him, singeing the hair of the people around him.

"Good lord. Three pages and I haven't even _mentioned _the skit yet," The Violent Tomboy mumbled. "Zuko, you're my favorite character from Avatar next to Iroh and all, but I don't want Ino trying to hijack the story again when you burn out the cameras."

"Did someone mention me?" Iroh said as he looked up from his cup of jasmine tea. He had just been conversing with Miroku (from Inuyasha) on how to be a better pimp…man, was Jun hot or what…

The Violent Tomboy took out a small remote control and pushed the red button. Two mechanical arms shot out from Zuko's chair, grabbed his wrist, dragged him back to his seat, and kept him there.

"Finally. Now, if anyone doesn't know how this show works and you've been a complete idiot on not getting it from the last two rounds, they do skits, I give fakey points, and someone wins. First game is Superheroes, for everyone!"

The four went to the side besides Kurenai.

"Okay, they have to play out as heroes dealing with some world crisis, and when each new guy comes in, the last person has to name him/her. Okay, first up, what's an unlikely superhero name for Kurenai?"

"The Fuckinator!" "Super Nun!" "Sarcastic Woman!" "Iron Bra!" "Wonder Woman!" "You idiot, that's a real one!"

"Um, I'll pick the Fuckinator. Now, what's the world crisis?"

"World's out of toilet paper!" "Chickens are attacking the city!" "My tooth fell out!" "A giant fireball destroyed the Shonen Jump office building!" "My tooth really did fall out!" "Prostitutes are losing their jobs!"

"I pick the Shonen Jump building was destroyed. Now Kurenai, start!"

"Fuck, what a fucking bad day. Oh well, I'll check the fucking computer to see what fuckers are out there fucking up the fucked up world. Oh fuck! The Shonen Jump company has been fucked by giant fucking fireball! I hope my fucky friends will get here soon!" Kurenai said. Ten 'fucks' in five sentences. Not bad. (True fact: 'Fuck' is the most reflexive word in the English language.)

Just then, Kiba jumped in. Akamaru stayed on the chair. "Hey Fuckinator, what's the problem?" he said very dramatically.

"Thank goodness you're here," Kurenai paused for a second. "…Boy-who-thinks-everyone-loves-him-when-we-don't!"

"Oh, you must have missed me so much! I knew you were worried about me! Hug me!" Kiba yelled out.

"I'm not going to fuck with you, Boy-who-thinks-everyone-loves-him-when-we-don't! The Shonen Jump office building has been fucked up by a giant fucking fireball! We'd better fucking do something fast, or anime fans will fuck up the world even more!" Kurenai yelled at him.

"But you still love me," Kiba winked at her in a way that wasn't appropriate to do to your own sensei. Kurenai smacked him. Hard.

"Ano-sa, w-what's going on?" Hinata stuttered as she walked in.

"It's about time you got here…Constantly-sick-and-coughing-girl!" Kiba cried out.

Hinata's eyes practically popped out of her sockets when she heard her name. But Naruto-kun was watching her, and she wanted to show him she could act just as well as he did before…

"(cough) This better be an (cough) emergency. I just got (cough) diagnosed with cough chicken pox, malaria, fever, mumps, and something disease that will soon be named after me," she wheezed out.

"The Shonen Jump building has been destroyed, but don't you want to see how much you love me first?" Kiba said as he put an arm around Hinata.

"You can't fuck her, she's fucking contagious, remember?" Kurenai yelled out. "Besides, what will we do about the fucking problem?"

"Can I (cough) have some medicine?" Hinata said as Shino stepped up. "You're finally here…Boy-who-scream-like-a-little-girl-whenever-he-sees-a-bug!"

Everyone gasped. Shino had to do that!

Shino stared at Hinata. At least, I think he was.

"No," he simply said.

"Don't be a party pooper!" The Violent Tomboy called out. "Act or else there will be consequences before the next game!"

"I won't do it," he said before stepping out.

The audience booed.

"Hey, if we have to act stupid so do you!" Kiba yelled furiously. "Get back here!"

"Whatever, just go on with the skit. I'll take care of him later," the hostess said.

"Okay…(cough) what shall cough we do?" Hinata went on.

"Fuck this, I have a dental appointment later!" Kurenai said.

"I better (cough) get my medicine first," Hinata said before walking off.

"Don't you want to admire my devilishly good looks first?" Kiba said before following her.

"The world is so fucked up," Kurenai sighed as she went off as well.

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"See you for the next game and Shino's new surprise!" The Violent Tomboy screamed.

Shino's eyebrow twitched.


	12. Broadway

In terms of the skit, this chapter is not one of my best ones. In terms of everything else, yes, it is.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000

For some reason, Shino was not on stage, and The Violent Tomboy looked oddly guilty.

"Hi everybody and everybody got a thousand points but Shino from the last skit…ah man, I can't do this," she moaned. "This isn't humane, even if this is all a figment of my imagination."

"Ano-sa, what _did _you do to Shino?" Hinata asked nervously, pushing her fingertips together.

"I hate my conscience," the hostess mumbled as she took out her cell phone. Jabbing a couple buttons and, "Washu? It's me. Mm-hm, mm-hm…wait Washu, please, don't do it to him…I know it was my idea…I changed it…this isn't right, please don't do it to him…but, but, this isn't right…DON'T DO IT! PLEASE-"

The hostess was cut off as a blood-curdling scream rang out from her phone.

Everyone was silent.

So silent that not even the crickets chirped.

_That_ silent.

"What have I done?" The Violent Tomboy moaned, smacking her forehead against the desk. "Ow, that hurt…"

A side door burst open and the super genius Washu (from Tenchi Muyo) stepped out, looking like she did the greatest thing ever. "HA HA HA! I'm such a genius! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the first ever shinobi who lived through a surgery to get an OOC chip implanted into his brain!"

Shino came out from behind her, a radio antennae sticking out from his head.

"I am _so _going to get seriously _flamed_ for this," The Violent Tomboy muttered with her head against the desk.

"You had a _chip _implanted in my student's skull?" Kurenai said in disbelief.

"The OOC chip Version 8.0..." Washu as cut off by the hostess's screaming.

"**_WHAT!"_** she yelled. "You installed the 8.0 version? I THOUGHT I SAID VERSION 2.0!"

Washu snorted. "2.0? That only comes in one setting and the OOCness is just barely noticeable. 8.0 comes with ten settings of OOCness, all controlled by this remote control." She held up a small remote control with a dial on it. "Currently Shino happens to be at OOC level 1, but with a simple twirl of this dial…"

"Give me that control or else…GIVE IT TO ME NOW, YOU LITTLE BITCH! I'M GOING TO HAVE MY BUGS DEVOUR YOU ALIVE!" Shino screamed. He quickly stopped himself, realizing that this was so not his style. Everybody gasped.

"And that was OOC level 4. Imagine him at level 10..."

The Violent Tomboy quickly pulled out her own remote control and smacked the red button. A mechanical arm came out from the ceiling and grabbed the control from the pink-haired genius. The control was dropped on the hostess's desk.

"Don't worry Shino, the effects of OOC chips don't last that long. That thing will stop working around, I'd say right before the last skit," the hostess said reassuringly.

"Yeah, but the OOC chips that are 5.0 or higher require radio antennas attached to the brain. It's impossible to get them completely off, because if you do, the brains will get permanently damaged," Washu said.

"WHAT THE HELL! You mean, I'm going to walk round for the rest of my life with a stick attached to by skull!" Shino yelled.

"Shino, I am _so _sorry," The Violent Tomboy said. "I'll keep the OOCness at minimum."

"I'll kill you," Shino growled as he went back to his seat.

"You guys are no fun," Washu said when she sat back near Tenchi.

"Well, um, I'M SO SORRY SHINO! The next skit is Broadway, for everyone but Kurenai, with a little music from Yamato."

"All right! We get to sing!" Shino cried out gleefully. Everyone stared at him.

"Sorry, as inhumane as it is, I couldn't resist," The Violent Tomboy said timidly. "Besides, it's the only way you'll do the skit."

"For some reason, I don't care," Shino said happily.

"This is so wrong," Kiba said in disbelief. "If you only did the first skit…"

Meanwhile, The Violent Tomboy went to the audience and brought down Yuki Miaka (from Fushigi Yugi) and had her sit on a stool that had magically appeared in front. Going back to her seat, she said, "Alright, these three have to sing a song to her, but only one word at a time. And all I have to say to Miaka is that I'm surprised she kept her virginity as long as she did, considering she nearly gets raped in every volume in the manga, and I haven't seen the anime, so, yeah."

Miaka blushed.

"And the fact she isn't fat even though she eats as much as Son Goku."

"I'm not fat!" Son Goku yelled out from the audience.

"You fight and work out a lot! She doesn't!" she shot back.

"Can we start now?" Hinata ventured to say.

"Oh, sure. Someone finish this sentence: You are My Beautiful…"

"Glue stick!" "Pickles!" "Big Weapon!" "Green Day CD!" "Butt!" "Tin foil!"

"Okay, the Broadway hit, You are My Beautiful Tin Foil!"

Yamato played the music on his guitar as Shino, Hinata, and Kiba got together, putting their arms around each other shoulders.

Shino: _"You."_

Hinata: _"Are."_

Kiba: _"My."_

Shino: _"Bee-yoooooou-tee-ful."_

Hinata: _"Tin."_

Kiba: _"Foil."_

Shino: _"You."_

Hinata: _"Are."_

Kiba: _"So."_

Shino: _"…Shiny."_

Hinata: _"And."_

Kiba: _"So."_

Shino: _"Aluminumy!" _(not a real word.)

Hinata: _"I."_

Kiba: _"Want."_

Shino: _"To."_

Hinata: _"Use."_

Kiba: _"You."_

Shino: _"To."_

Hinata: _"Keep."_

Kiba: _"My."_

Shino: _"Sandwich."_

Hinata: _"Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh!"_

Kiba: _"You."_

Shino: _"Are."_

Hinata: _"Crinkly."_

Kiba: _"And." _

Shino: _"Wrinkly."_

Hinata: _"Why."_

Kiba: _"Are."_

Shino: _"You."_

Hinata: _"So."_

Kiba: _"Beautiful?_

Shino: _"Tin."_

Hinata: _"Foil."_

Kiba: _"Tin."_

Shino: _"Foil."_

Hinata: _"Tin."_

All three: _"Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!"_

"**BREAK DANCE!"** Shino cried out as he leaped out in front of them all and started to, well, break dance. Belly flop, spinning around on his hands, and everything that you see people do in music videos in the street scenes…

Everybody had their eyes popping out of their sockets.

"WHAT THE-" The Violent Tomboy's jaw dropped to the desk, but she quickly shut it and looked around. "The control! Where did it-"

"Awe man, this is awesome!" Beastboy yelled out, holding the said control in his hands. "And that is OOC level 8? I gotta see 10!"

"BEASTBOY!" the hostess yelled. "YOU SHOULDN'T BE MESSING AROUND WITH SHINO'S BRAIN!"

"But-" Beastboy was cut off as the hostess screamed out, "DON'T HAVE ME GET MY OC OUT HERE TO CURSE YOUR SORRY GREEN ASS!"

"AAAAAH!" he shrieked. "Not that crazy psycho Mage girl! She nearly killed me for insulting Sesshomaru and Dark Mousy!"

"You insulted this Sesshomaru?" the taiyoukai (from Inuyasha) said as his acid whip appeared from his fingertips. Dark Mousy (from DNAngel) glared at the green teen as well.

"AAAAAAAH!" Beastboy shrieked again. "I CAN'T DIE YET!"

"That is entirely your fault," Raven said.

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Alright, before you review, I'd like a quick poll. I'm planning two new Naruto stories, and I'd like you guys to vote on which one you'd like to see posted first.

1. Title: The Bottom Trouble

Genre: Action/Adventure/Comedy

Rating: G plus/T

Summery: A crazy missing-nin performs the horrid Butt Sticking no Jutsu on Naruto and Sasuke! How will the two survive with their asses stuck together for 24 hours?

Quick Note: Got the idea after brainstorming for a sequel for my Teen Titans story, _Voice Problems_. I don't know why I like the whole our-heroes-get-the-stupidest-curse-on-them plot. In _Voice Problems_, everyone ended up speaking in a different language or code by a nutty villain. Proud to say that my OC villain was fairly successful in popularity. Decided Naruto would work out better for this kind of plotline.

2. Title: A Reason To Live

Genre: Drama/Angst

Rating: T

Summery: Inuyasha crossover, Kag/Nar mother/son relationship. Arriving in Konoha, Kagome decides to take care of little Naruto to give herself a purpose in life, but is the hardships that come with him make it worth it?

Quick note: Inuyasha/Naruto stories are starting to make a wave on the site; it's practically the new Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho. However, I've only liked a tiny handful of them so far, for reasons such as the whole gasp! Kag-found-Inu-and-Kik-making-out-with-each-other-and-she's-so-heartbroken plot in some of them (man do those disgust me), some plots are kind of crappy or seriously are unlikely, and well, you get the idea. I've read _As the Sky Mourns, _one of the better ones, a Kag/Nar, very insightful and deep, although I don't like how some characters are portrayed. But it did get me thinking. Kag/Nar romance doesn't really appeal to me, and Kagome does have a soft spot for kitsune orphans, so I got this. Naruto will be four in this story. I don't think Kagome will actually be paired up with anyone in this story in a romantic sense.


	13. Questions Only

I've already put up my _The Bottom Problem_, so read that after you're done with this chapter. Also, after one more skit after this one, this story will be over. So sorry, Team Gai, the Sand Siblings, or all the other guys will not be performing for your amusement. Sorry again.

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Somewhere else, Beastboy was a green donkey, hanging from the ceiling, while Sesshomaru was blindfolded and holding a baseball bat. Dark was cheering for him.

I hope they have fun.

"Hey everybody, and Hinata and Kiba get fifty points each while Shino gets a billion out of pity that he'll forever of a radio antenna sticking out of his skull," The Violent Tomboy said at the desk. "Somehow, Beastboy jammed the dial so Shino is stuck at OOC level 8."

Shino had a goofy grin while he was singing 'Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall' at the top of his voice. He was up to thirty-three bottles. Kiba had his fingers stuck in his ears.

"But you have to feel sorry for the Teen Titans, after all, they're not getting anymore new episodes," the hostess said a little sadly.

"What? After all the high ratings, our show is over? Especially after leaving off at an extreme cliffhanger?" Robin burst out.

"Well, you guys are going to have a movie to end it off really. Okay Shino, stop singing, it's time for Questions Only."

The four came down. Shino went to one side while Kurenai went to the other, leaving Hinata and Kiba alone in the middle. Shino was still singing, "Thirty bottles of beer on the wall, thirty bottles of beeeeer!" (Did I mention Shino had a very fine soprano voice?)

"They have to act out a scene, but they can only speak in questions. The scene is that Kiba is a drunk and Hinata is a bartender."

"Can I have another mug?" Kiba said.

"Don't you think you drank enough?" Hinata sad timidly.

"Is it any of your business, you little squirt?" Kiba snapped back.

"Who gave you the right to call me a squirt?" Hinata said.

"I did-I mean-"

_Beep! _Shino replaced Kiba.

"Don't you think I have a very sexy singing voice?" Shino asked.

"Don't you think that you're acting incredibly OOC?" Hinata said.

"Can't you tell that I don't care?" was the answer.

"When will you be acting IC again?"

"NEVER!"

_Beep! _Kiba came out again.

"Are you my mother?" Kiba started off. Hinata blushed so bad that she was automatically _beep!_ed and replaced by Kurenai.

"Are you sober yet?" Kurenai started.

"Will I ever be?" Kiba said.

"Will you stop asking so many damn questions?"

"Isn't that the whole point of this skit?"

"Can't you tell I just wasted one line to say a question?"

"Does your brain hurt as much as mine?"

"Are you stupid?"

"Didn't you already ask me that question?"

"Actually, no-"

_Beep!_ Hinata is back.

"Would you like some more beer?" she asked.

"Would you like to see this hilarious anime music video of Naruto singing 'Can't Touch This?' in a Peter Griffin voice?"

"WHAT!" Naruto yelled from the audience.

"Is it okay?" Hinata asked a bit timidly.

"OF COURSE IT IS!" Kiba screamed. "HEY MO-"

"**_DON'T SAY MY NAME!" _**the hostess yelled out as she smashed the buzzer.

"Alright, but can you show that really funny Naruto video on media.putfile?"

"Let them do it on their own free time. Now get off so Shino can go on!" It was done so.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Shino said, which cased Hinata to fall over.

_Buzz! Buzz!_ "Alright, fifty points for everybody, and yes, that music video is hilarious, so recommend it on media.putfile. See you all later for the last skit!"

"**TWENTY-NINE BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!" **Shino sang out.


	14. Props

Shino was on the desk, wearing a ten gallon hat. Sure, this was still incredibly OOC for him, and the OOC chip was no longer working, but what else could he do? Of course, he could always use genjutsu, but just to make the world a happier place, he'll stick with the hat.

He looks better.

"Hey everybody, welcome back! Great to see you all for the last game-" The Violent Tomboy was interrupted by Uremeshi Yusuke (Yu Yu Hakusho).

"Hey! You're not upset anymore that your _Know Your Stars _story got deleted for breaking a rule you didn't break!"

"SHUT UP!" the hostess screamed out as she pointed her finger at him. "I WAS JUST GETTING OVER IT! YOU SUCK, MY STORY'S GONE WITH ITS TWO HUNDRED FORTY REVIEWS, AND NOW I'M PISSED OFF AGAIN!"

"At least no one can ever read that stupid story about me and the others ever again, even though chasing Koenma was fun," Yusuke said.

"At least you don't have an obsessive OC chasing you," Kakashi said, shuddering at the thought of the annoying woman that the hostess created from some sick twisted imagination.

"At least your butt isn't attached to an asshole!" Naruto blurted out, looking uncomfortable in the seat he was sharing with Sasuke. The two rivals tried to glare at each other, but it was rather difficult with their asses stuck to each other. Curse her crazy imagination!

"WHATEVER! Shino wins, and the rest of us are going to play props!"

Kurenai and Hinata were given two long Styrofoam tubes, while Kiba and The Violent Tomboy were given two giant Ls.

"Now we have to act out as many things with them, and Shino buzzes. Kurenai and Hinata start!"

Hinata somehow wore her tube halfway up her left arm, while Kureani stood in front of her, holding the other tube like a staff.

"Now I summon the Dark Magician!" Hinata cried out very dramatically.

_Buzz!_

The Violent Tomboy tilted the L to the side and held it above her head like long ears and Kiba held his near his lips, like some giant beak.

"Duck Season!" the hostess snapped.

"Rabbit Season!" Kiba snapped back.

"Duck Season!"

"Rabbit Season!"

_Buzz!_

Kurenai held up one tube and attempted to whack Hinata with it, who was popping up and down.

_Buzz!_

Kiba held the Ls over his head like a big M.

"Osuwari!" the hostess yelled, and Kiba fell flat on his face.

_Buzz!_

Hinata wore one tube completely up her right arm and the other up her left leg.

"Fullmetal shrimp," Kurenai said to her, while Hinata jumped up and down, shrieking, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!"

_Buzz!_

Kiba and the hostess both carried an L like a gun.

"Remember, three paces then shoot," The Violent Tomboy said. "One, two-"

Kiba then whirled around and screamed "BANG!", and in response the hostess stumbled realistically and fell to the ground.

_Buzz!_

Kurenai and Hinata held a tube each, and began swinging them at each other making _zhing zhing _sounds with their mouths, occasionally one of them holding out their hand making the other stumble back with 'the force'.

_Buzz!_

The Violent Tomboy put the Ls together to form a rectangle, and held it in front of Kiba. Waving his arms around, he said in a moronic fashion, "I'm ready, I'm ready!"

_Buzz!_

Hinata mounted the tube and was rushing around with it, arm outstretched while Kurenai spoke into hers like a microphone. "And Harry Potter has finally has spotted the Golden Snitch!"

_Buzz!_

The Violent Tomboy held up one L to her neck so the angle was snuggly fit around her throat.

"Now die, ye foul witch!" Kiba said as he pretended to kick something underneath her feet. Her head slumped over with her tongue sticking out.

_Buzz! Buzz!_

"All right that's all, the-" the hostess was cut off as a side door opened and Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny stepped out.

"Ah fat ass, the show's over and we missed it. It's all your fault," Kyle said angrily.

"_My _fault? How is it _my _fault, you stinking Jew?"

"Mmmph-mmmph mmph mmmmp-mmp," Kenny cried out just before he randomly exploded in a tiny nuclear explosion that only affected him. Everyone stared at the black ashes where he once stood.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" Stan shouted.

"You bas-wait, who killed Kenny?" Kyle scratched the back of his 2-D head.

"Who cares, he always dies," someone muttered. He was smacked by who could be assumed for his canon girlfriend.

"That's mean! That poor little boy just died!"

The audience immediately split itself into two sides, the ones who knew it was wrong for Kenny to die, and the other who didn't give a shit.

In other words, the girls vs. the guys.

Battle of the sexes, baby.

Punches flew, energy blasts were shot, attack names were shouted, balls were kicked, guns were shooting, and there was an occasional pervert attempting to grope breasts in all the confusion.

The Violent Tomboy took a gas mask out of thin air and strapped it on before pulling out the remote control and pushing the red button. Sleeping gas was issued out, and everyone (except the hostess) who wasn't a robot or something along the lines of that fell asleep. Pushing the button again, electric lasers popped out of the walls and shot everyone left standing (except the hostess).

"Man, what'll I do with everyone?" she mumbled as the South Park boys slid silently out of the doors (how the gas and lasers missed them, no idea). A light bulb was above her head. She turned to the readers, grabbed the nearest person, who happened to be Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece, and screamed, "Auctioning off anime characters! Auctioning off anime characters! Starting bid for the rubber pirate, fifty bucks!"

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The end.


End file.
